Things have been moving forward since our last update when we got our LOA! In
the last month, we have completed several milestones including receiving our
I-800 provisional approval, filing our DS-260, starting our Article 5 process
and submitting our Visa applications. I know these steps mean nothing to most
of you, but they are important to being able to get to our son. These steps
have definitely been the most confusing part so far!
Here's the super simple explanation of each of these documents:
- The I-800 is an immigration document filed with the U.S. government to
approve our adoption. We receive provisional approval from the United States
Citizenship and Immigration Services and then our Case is forwarded to the
National Visa Center who sends that approval to China for us. We are provisionally
approved until our Visa documents are received and approved.
- We can then file the DS-260 online which is basically a visa application
for Charlie
- Our Article 5 is a letter that tells China the U.S. has determined we are
eligible and suited to adopt, that Charlie may enter and reside permanently in
the United States, and that the U.S. Central Authority agrees that the adoption
may proceed. It takes about two weeks to process this and we should receive approval
on 8/26.
We also filed for our Visa documents to enter China. This step requires that
we send our passports, our actual physical passports, to a courier to take to
the Chinese Consulate. They will actually stamp our passports and send them
back to us so we can enter China. I don't think I've been so nervous shipping anything! If anything happens to those passports...
According to our Agency, assuming everything continues on schedule, this
means we should travel October 15 to China. If you haven’t looked at a calendar
lately, that is TWO MONTHS away. Holy moly!
October seems like forever away and
so soon at the same time. Everything has been process, process, process up to
this point and the "process" part is almost over. Charlie will be
here and in our lives forever in no time at all. I am also realizing that so
much in my life will change, too, which is overwhelming at times. I can't
imagine how overwhelming this must be for him considering everything in his
life is about to change. Please pray for his little heart. He will be
experiencing so much loss and we will have to help him process through it all.
Next Update...Nursery pictures!!
After 78 torturous days waiting for our LOA, our agency called Tuesday to
let us know it had finally arrived in their office!! They forwarded us the PDF
copy so we could mail out our next document, the I-800, and the hard
copy LOA was just delivered via Fed Ex.
Our I-800 is the U.S. government document that approves Charlie to become a
citizen. We mailed it Wednesday morning and should hear back on approval
in about two weeks. I'm a little fuzzy on the steps from there, but we are
saying our prayers that we can make it in the October travel group. The man
with our agency that coordinates travel said its "possible", so I'm
holding onto that!!
It seems so surreal that in three months we could be on our way to China and
meeting our son for the first time. There is SO much to do before then -
deciding what to bring and how to pack it all in as few bags a possible,
finishing Charlie's room and making sure he has everything he needs (clothes,
diapers, car seats, etc.), figuring out how cell phones and VPNs work so we can
stay in touch while we're gone, deciding on and booking travel
arrangements - not to mention keeping up with the adoption process and
paperwork required to get there.
I just need to focus on one step at a time, keep lots of lists to stay
organized and breathe. While it is a busy time, we are also in our last few
months as a family of three and I want to cherish every second of that. Things
will be different with a new child in the family and I don't want to
underestimate how much things will change for us.
"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar
high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and
not faint" - Isaiah 40:31
We've been waiting 54 days so far for our LOA from China. This wait is tough
and I've really found it to be quite a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days I'm
perfectly content to wait for God's timing, other days I'm so anxious I can't stand it. But the past few days have mostly been spent thinking.
I've been thinking a lot about the hearts of my kiddos.
Brooklyn will be way
too young to really understand this thing called adoption that is rocking her
world. Although we talk about it, she will really just see that Mommy and Daddy
leave for a long time and come back with a little boy who she now has to share
her home with. She may adjust to this very well, but I don't want her sweet
heart for one second to think she has been replaced. I'm sure this is a
normal thought for any parent bringing home a new child; nonetheless, I worry about this.
I have been thinking about our little Charlie's heart. I always want him to know he is loved and wanted. I do not know the details of his birth family, nor will I
try to fill in the blanks, but what I do know is that his birth mother wanted to give him
life. She wanted him to be here. She will always have a hole in her heart as
she thinks of him. That's what mother's do; we want the very best for
our children. I believe, down to the deepest part of me, that we were in God's
plan for this little boy from the beginning. I am humbled by the opportunity to
love our Charlie everyday with the kind of love that tells him he is treasured,
he is special and he serves an important role in this world. Most importantly,
he is loved by his Heavenly Father. We want to be his parents so badly we will
jump through paperwork hoops, endure personal scrutiny and step (completely)
out of our comfort zones to fly to the other side of the world to bring him
home. We will mess up a lot in his life and he will struggle with doubts, I'm
sure, but I never want him to doubt our love.
I think about how we're going to step up to the challenge of being a voice
for adoption and an advocate for our child's privacy. We realize we will be a
walking ad for adoption everywhere we go. Our family won't look like every
other family, and I actually love that, but this will spur questions. People
will ask us intensely personal questions about our son and about how our family
was formed and I want to handle this with grace and patience. I pray that God gives us the
words, not only for ourselves, but for our children, too. Brooklyn and
Charlie will likely get questions at the park or at school about our family. I
want to empower them to respond to these questions with confidence, being proud
of who they are - who we are.
Obviously, my brain will not stop thinking about these things once Charlie is
home with us. I am trying to embrace God's sweet whisper in my ear to "Be
Still". Be still...maybe that's what God wants me to learn in these 54
days and counting. I won't have all the answers but, God didn't ask me to. He knew my abilities, and inabilities, before He called me here. He
simply asks me to put one step in front of the other in obedience as He lights the
path.
Tomorrow marks one month
since we officially submitted our LOI to adopt our Charlie. While I knew
logically we would not receive our LOA (letter of acceptance) from China within
the first month, it didn’t stop me from refreshing my email multiple times a
day just in case :).
The wait for this LOA is
really a difficult one because we have no idea how long to expect it to be. We
could receive the LOA next week or we could receive it two months from now. The
other steps in the process seem to have pretty good timeline estimates, but
this one seems totally random.
I am so thankful we now know who our child is
and have seen his sweet face, but it definitely challenges my patience. I want
to wait well, knowing God's timing is absolutely the best thing for our family
and just rest in that. But my heart longs to hold him and kiss his chubby
little cheeks. I long to lavish him with the love that only a mommy and daddy
can truly give. I long to tell him he's a perfectly made child of the most
perfect God.
I know that time will come,
it's the "soon, but not yet" I'm currently stuck in that threatens my
sanity.
Several families on my
agency's Facebook page have recently traveled to China to bring their babies
home and I love seeing their pictures and reading the blog accounts of their
trips. I met these families on the page when they weren’t even matched with
children yet, and to follow their journey to now having that child in their arms
is encouraging. It does remind me that this will happen. It's not just some
fantasy I've dreamt up, but we will bring our son home to his forever family
soon.
I read an article about
waiting recently that talked about not missing the "here and now"
while we are waiting on our desired future state to come to fruition. God wants to use me now and
wants to continue to transform me into the wife, mother and friend he wants me
to be. If I am so focused on the future, I might miss what he wants for me to learn
while I wait. This is my new challenge to myself - to listen to God and seek
him as I watch his plans unfold. These plans are his, after all.
I think Steven Curtis Chapman
says it best in his song "The Glorious Unfolding"...
And this is going to be a
glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and
you will be amazed
You’ve just got to believe
the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise
God has made to us
And watch this glorious
unfolding
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