So I can just be me....

So, I confess I've had a little anxiety lately. Ok, maybe a lot of anxiety lately. This world is scary, right? And it's even scarier when you think about leaving your baby girl to travel to the other side of the world for two weeks. The gravity of this has been weighing on me. What ifs have been plaguing my mind and, at times, paralyzing me. Terrorists, Ebola, protests, mosquitos carrying disease....It's enough to send anyone to their closet and not want to leave (so, maybe this happened once. Or twice) :)

And then I had an epiphany today as I listened to Laura Story's "So I can just be me". I’ve been trying to be God. I've been trying to hold everything together and do things I was just never made to do. That's WAY too much responsibility for me to carry. Trying to play God in my life will lead me nowhere. Being brave is not my strongest asset. Good thing God is so good at it.

Here are the lyrics. It's been on repeat today. I can't help but think that when Laura wrote this song God knew, "One of my dear children will need to hear this someday". And boy did I...

Two weeks from today we board that plane for China!

I've been doing all that I can
To hold it all together
Piece by piece.
I've been feeling like a failure,
Trying to be braver
Than I could ever be.
It's just not me.

So be my healer, be my comfort, be my peace.
Cause I can be broken, I can be needy,
Lord I need You now to be,
Be my God, so I can just be me.

I've been living like an orphan,
Trying to belong here,
But it's just not my home.
I've been holding on so tightly,
To all the things that I think
Could satisfy my soul.
But I'm letting go...

So be my father, my mighty warrior, be my king.
Cause I can be scattered, frail and shattered,
Lord I need You now to be,
Be my God, so I can just be me.

Cause I was lost in this dark world
Until I was finally found in You
So now I'm needing, desperately pleading
Oh Lord, be all to me

And be my savior, be my lifeline, won't You be my everything.
Cause I'm so tired of trying to be someone
I was never meant to be
Be my God
Please be my God
Be my God
So I can just be me
So I can just be me
I can just be me.