Day dreaming

I'm day dreaming again.....

I don't post my feelings often because they are so mixed up at times I don't know what I'm feeling from one day to the next.  I'm not sure if anyone reads this blog anyway, so I figured I would document some of my emotions for my child.  I want him/her to know how much I longed for them.

I'm day dreaming about them being home.  Playing with Brooklyn.  Rocking them to sleep at night.  I wonder what will be their favorite song?  I wonder what they will like to read and eat and play with? 

I day dream about the day we will meet them.  How will I feel?  How will they feel?  Will they see my face and see love or be afraid? 

I day dream about how they will look.  Sometimes I shop for clothes for them, putting things in my online cart and then deleting the cart because I can't order yet.  I don't know their gender or pants size or shoe size.

I day dream about their little personality (or if like Brooklyn, their BIG personality).  What will make them laugh?  What will make them jump in excitement?  What will break their heart?

I do know our child is out there.  It's so unfair that they are not with us now.  Why must we wait?

Why?  Because it's not God's time yet.  And I believe God is good.  That's all I know but it's enough to keep the tears away most days.  So for now, I just day dream about our life that seems so far away.  So impossible.  But God makes the impossible possible, doesn't he?

Hope to post soon with good news we've received our log in date with China and officially eligible to receive our child's referral!